Sour Notes

• Usher enjoys colonics, but unlike Paris Hilton, he doesn't indulge in anything harder than water. (Rod Online)
• Canada decided not to ban 50 Cent, but he's only allowed into the country without his riffraff-- I mean, sans entourage... (Davey D)
• Does Victoria Beckham's head turn a complete 360 degrees? (ASL)
• Will.I.Am gets down to Monkey Business. (AHH)
• Jamie Foxx wants everyone to know that he's no Eddie Murphy.
• Foxy Brown has lost her hearing and her mind. (Davey D)
• Isn't it time for Kanye West to put his cock back into his mouth? (MTV)
• Not realizing that most of their teen fans have grown up, Take That overshoots their target in trying to capture an adult demographic.
• John Legend ditches the romantic ballads for protest songs... which is sort of reminiscent of what George Michael did.
• Speaking of George Michael, he says that he wishes he could have had Andrew Ridgeley's life, because things are so much easier in the land of obscurity. (Guardian UK)
• Moby is the world's most famous beef loving vegan. (Scoop)
• Interview with the chavtastic version of Destiny's Child: The Sugababes. (Observer)
• Prince goes back into slavery. (MSN)

Michelle Branch Throws a Teenybopper Rant

I wonder if she stomped her feet while posting this: What I am most frustrated at, I suppose is...I pay money to keep this website up so all of you "fans" can talk about our music. Why would I want to spend the money so the majority of you can sit around and bitch about us? I understand that you are frustrated with the fact that there isn't any music for you to listen to. Don't you think Jessica and I are frustrated too?? We finished this record over a year ago and were sent on a lame ass tour we didn't want to be on. It was a horrible idea to headline a show playing music that nobody had ever heard. Maverick wanted to make a quick buck, and unfortunately, we were obligated by contract to do so. I was 5 months pregnant when we started that tour and believe me...it was the last place I wanted to be. Then I got pushed into doing a Santana song I didn't want to do (I didn't write it either, Shanks wanted me to sing it so bad, that was a bargaining tool), Maverick wouldn't let me do it unless Jess was on it so they would get "free" promotion for a record they didn't even understand or believe in for the most part. The record wasn't released because Maverick didn't want me promoting an album pregnant. they thought it would look bad to my young fans...bull. I guess nobody had heard the songs she played on tour, because nobody bothered to buy her second album... that shitty Santana song scared everyone away. Anyway, she doesn't seem to have any complaints about the royalty checks she's getting from that headache inducing mess of a song. As far as 'biting the hand that feeds you'... I would give nothing more than to play music in a shitty bar and fold clothes at The Gap for a living. My "being famous" has done nothing but ruin my relationship with my parents, mostly my Father and it has made me hate doing what I used to love more than life itself...playing music. I have been pushed around and now most of you see me as someone who I never really was, and most of you can't accept the plain fact that people change and grow up and I'm not the little girl you think I am. I have a family of my own now, a baby...the last thing I could imagine doing is making music. I'm fine financially (although I don't make millions contrary to popular belief.) and being a famous musician has brought nothing to my life besides strife. (Okay, I met my wonderful husband and bandmate because of it.) I have maybe written two songs in the past year. That's ridiculous. This isn't fun for me anymore. I'm sick of sucking dick to get my music heard, putting on a fake smile, and saying things that are acceptable. What did she think the life of a recording artist would be like? Didn't she know that sucking dick is a way of life in the entertainment industry? I guess she hasn't had the chance to work with Kanye West just yet...

Stanley Crouch slaps Richard Pryor with a nasty editorial

Richard Pryor, in the words of Stanley Crouch: This past Saturday Richard Pryor left this life and bequeathed to our culture as much darkness as he did the light his extraordinary talent made possible. When we look at the remarkable descent this culture has made into smut, contempt, vulgarity and the pornagraphic, those of us who are not willing to drink the Kool-Aid marked "all's well," will have to address the fact that it was the combination of confusion and comic genius that made Pryor a much more negative influence than a positive one... So, in Crouch's view, Pryor was responsible for every half-talented, potty mouthed comedian/celebrity who got any media exposure: In the dung piles of pimp and gangster rap we hear from slime meisters like Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent, the worst of Pryor's influence has been turned into an aspect of the new minstrelsy in which millions of dollars are made by "normalizing" demeaning imagery and misogyny. Of course, Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam is the ultimate coon show update of human cesspools, where "cutting edge" has come to mean traveling ever more downward in the sewer. Crouch manages to paint Pryor as a pathetic creature who never had sense enough to realize what his true talent was: What is so unfortunate is that the heaviest of Pryor's gifts was largely ignored by so many of those who praised the man when he was alive and are now in the middle of deifying him. The pathos and the frailty of the human soul alone in the world or insecure or looking for something of meaning in a chaotic environment was a bit too deep for all of the simpleminded clowns like Andrew Dice Clay or those who thought that mere ethnicity was enough to define one as funny, like the painfully square work of Paul Rodriguez. In essence, Pryor stunned with his timing, his rhythm, his ability to stand alone and fill the stage with three-dimensional characters through his remarkably imaginative gift for an epic sweep of mimicry. Apparently, Stanley was the only person who could see the deeper meaning behind Richard Pryor's comedy routines. Or maybe Richard insulted him at some point during his lifetime. Who knows. Stanley Crouch is known for retaliating in the nastiest ways. (Link via TMFTML)

Random Ruminations

• Interview with SJP. (Independent)
• Porn that is actually safe for work. (SFGate)
• Are you addicted to MySpace? (Observer)
• Whatever happened to Bill Bellamy? Wasn't he supposed to be "the next Eddie Murphy", the "black Cary Grant", or something like that?
• What is up with Mel Gibson these days? (SFGate)
• Will Wilmer Valderrama be stuck in the 70s forever? (TV.com)
• Apparently, any new innovation of any kind will ruin Hollywood. (Slate)
• Which pic looks unstaged? This one, or this one?
• Joss Stone... in 20 years?
• FBI files reveal celebrity dirt. (Independent)
• Something for the few people who have too much time on their hands this holiday season. (SFGate)

News and Nonsense

• R.I.P. Richard Pryor. (BBC)
• Donald Trump's "signature collection" : for the man who is not at all particular about his looks. (Adrants)
• Let's face it: Oprah is never going to go away. Ever. (LAT)
• Katie Couric decided that she would miss showing off her bare legs in the middle of winter too much to give up hosting The Today Show. (TV.com)
• Pierce Brosnan finds a more subtle way to hate on Daniel Craig. (Movie Blog)
• Interview with Scarlett Johansson. (London Times)
• Sopranos actor takes method acting to a new extreme.
• Tatum O'Neal shows us the real damage that a drug addiction can do to a career.
• The "Pinklash" has begun. (Whatevs)
• Colin Farrell is finally exhausted from all of that whoring and hard living. (DListed)
• Now homophobia is a disease? I thought it was just an acute case of denial. (Queerty)
• 15 minutes seems to stretch longer and longer these days.